Day 3

So another day has passed! Today was a day just full of inspiration and appreciation for dance as an art form. My attitude towards everything from yesterday has completely changed. It always helps when you find out that your work is appreciated by someone. And it always helps to let go. Today was a day that I definitely let everything go and was myself.

I woke up pleasantly surprised by my addition of another mattress to the one I have now. I had breakfast and walked to the studio and had yoga again. Today was a day of inversions! Lovely! We focused on the third chakra which is the navel chakra. We strengthened the core of the navel and thought about the power of the navel chakra. I worked with two girls in my class on my handstand, one of them is currently in MOMIX and does a lot of inversions on a daily basis. She noticed that I was struggling to keep my body supported by my inner abdominals. Interestingly enough, I looked up the different chakras and I took a test on this website and found that my navel chakra is under-active. When I read what this meant, I found it to be very true of the status of who I am and what struggles I have been dealing with. It aid that I lack control and I lack the ability to be assertive. I also lack support of myself and have self-image and self-esteem problems. This was so true! But today, I proved my weak chakra wrong.

After yoga was our Jazz class taught by Jojo! To start, Jojo is this amazing sassy gay black dancer for Lar Lubovitch and watching him dance literally makes me cringe. His class was one of the best classes I have had in awhile. Not only did I feel confident the whole time, but I felt an energy in myself that I haven't utilized in a LONG time. I am always working hard in class, but I honestly just needed to let loose and let go of all of the problems and tension that I have been carrying around with me all year. The combinations were fierce! Not to mention they were to great song choices, Jessie J...Britney...The Temper Trap...Adele! Ah! I wanted to keep doing those combinations over and over again!

Anyways, at lunch I went over to the cookie table, something I wasn't planning on doing, but it's a good thing I did. I literally said to myself, best decision about a cookie I have ever made! But Jojo was there and he saw me and say "you better work it girl". Of course, being my ditsy self, didn't understand he was complimenting me! He was like, " You worked it today girl, I was watching you!" I know, to many this might seem like a meaningless comment, something I could be telling myself on the daily, but knowing that people appreciate your work is probably one of the best feelings you can get after putting so much energy into something. Today I danced for myself, and in return someone noticed. I am not saying I dance for an audience, but knowing that your art is appreciated is rewarding to me. Just like Susan Mann said..."You just need to let go!"...

As a result of this one comment from one person that I have known for less than 72 hours, changed the dynamic of my day. In turn, I was more confident in my repertory class and ended up disregarding audience and dancing for the true act of living my passion. A lot of time, I try to perfect my technique, and in turn lose the essence of my art and my passion. If I could just translate this into my everyday practice, I know that I will make it far. It really is mind over matter.

In my repertory class we learned a piece called Cryptoglyph with music by Meredith Monk. The music was very "african-esque, drumming, 70's jazz feel." The choreography was SO intricate. I have come to find that learning Lar's choreography and correctly translating the essence and origin of the movement is the most difficult part of it all. The vocabulary is so exact, it's hard to put it in your body. However, once it's in your body it's stuck there. A lot of Lar's work that I have seen and learned I have found to be very circular and fluid. His movement is much centered around the pathways of steps as opposed to the steps themselves. Transitions are often more important than the actual steps themselves. He also looks for you to paint a portrait of a theme through movement pathways that only have certain peaks of high energy. A lot of time the feeling you get when you "mark" a dance is the correct feeling you should be getting in your body when performing the steps, just a hair more escalated. It's difficult to find that sensation. I feel like after Lar's speech however, I have been thinking more about the orgin of the movement. The analysis of movement is a lot easier I have found by taking Nancy's SCIBI class. Thank you Nancy! Anyways, the repertory piece was taped by the company members who are looking for dancers to be in their pieces they are planning on choreographing for our showcase. Not everyone will get a spot. I hope they are not basing that last run-through as our audition, because at that point we had run through it twice without a real break= all the steps were SLOPPY! I was sloppy! But who knows, maybe I will have a shot. If not, that just means more running and swimming after dance. I swam what I think is half a mile in the pool and ran a mile on the tread after dance. Crazy am I? Anyways, today was a great day, and I only hope that I continue to have days like these throughout the intensive.

Jessie J was playing during Jojo's class and I have been listening to her all day ever since, and her lyrics are very appropriate for my new way of thinking:

"I stare at my reflection in the mirror, why am I doing this to myself? Losing my mind on a tiny error, I nearly left the real me on the shelf...no no no no. Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars. Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing. It's okay to not be okay. Sometimes its hard to follow your heart. Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising, just be true to who you are." - Jessie J